if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
