Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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