I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
