And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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