You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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