I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Even my vagina gasped.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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