The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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