just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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