im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
