So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
