member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
