pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
