where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize