strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
