I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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