I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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