Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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