whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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