Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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