Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
