I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
