somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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