so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dignity is for republicans.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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