i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
