I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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