; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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