Just fell off a train. Bad.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
