Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
