Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
