I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
