I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
