Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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