It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
