R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
