we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
