Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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