just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
