So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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