Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
