make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
