He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
