i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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