so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
