My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
