You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
