therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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