I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
