He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
