ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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