Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So apparently I’m into choking now
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize